The Real Cure
The real cure...what is it exactly? Well...it's a little complicated, but I'm going to do my best to answer that question for you now.
Hi there. I’m Daniel. But you probably already knew that if you’ve made it this far into my site. I have been through many battles in my life, and this site is dedicated to one of them that lasted several years during my 20s. It’s called Exfoliative Cheilitis, and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. I’ve been cured for quite a while now, and I want to give everyone the opportunity to have the insight and knowledge that I had (without knowing it) to cure their selves from this condition. In order for you to learn for me to guide you though, it is important that you hear my story so you will have the tools you need to start healing yourself.
I was born in the United States in a small town in Indiana. The year was 1988. My mother loved me very much, more than herself in fact. I arrived to this world premature, about 8 weeks early, which the chances of survival for babies this early is very rare, especially back then. My mom was very sick and almost died during childbirth, so you can see how battles in this life for me had just begun. But life didn't get better for me, it only got worse.
I survived. I pushed through all of the odds, and so did my mom. Her husband at the time, my father, would be the cause of great pain throughout my childhood. They fought almost daily, and sometimes he would get physical with her, which scared me. I can still remember moments to this day when he pushed her onto the couch as he screamed at her. They divorced a few years later, but me, being a pure soul, still loved him and wanted to see him. He was my father after all. He started dating someone new after about a month, and quickly introduced her to me and my brother. She had a child who was two years younger than me.
A couple years later I moved in with my dad. I was around 6 years old now in first grade. I was very shy as a kid, and we moved around a lot so I was always the new kid in school and therefore didn’t make many friends. Our town was small, but we managed to have 7 elementary schools, and I went to about 4 or 5 of them. To make matters worse, my parents didn’t care much about school, so getting good grades was pretty difficult for me. My story gets pretty sad here. Our family was friends with another family, and they had four children of their own. We all became very close, so I enjoyed our friendship and having friends I was comfortable around was an ease off of my difficult school days. The father of this family, however, did some very cruel things to me over the next 10 years of my life. He molested me until I was around 16 or 17. Somehow I told my dad that he had done these things to me, and he became furious, and I was scared. He forced me to tell the police, and I again had to live through another nightmare by telling these people I didn't know a bunch of detailed stories about what he did to me. To make matters worse, after he was arrested, I was in my marketing class and the teacher started talking about it, and I had to do everything in my power to not run out of the room screaming and crying. If I had run to escape that pain of hearing them all talk about me, then everyone would have known I was the kid in the paper.
Growing up in my house was really hard for me. My step-mom, which I love dearly today, treated me as second favorite out of two with her son. He always got more attention than I did through our early years. I hated living with my family, and I wanted to move back with my mom, but my dad said that I couldn't. I know the reason today is because he didn't want to pay child support, and since they each had a child no one had to pay each other. My mom lived 2 hours away in Carmel, IN, and I would visit every other weekend. My brother quit coming to visit my dad though when he got into middle school, and generally would only come for the summer and a few times during the year. I wanted to be with my mom so much that every night I would cry myself to sleep, hoping one day I would be able to. That day finally happened! When I was 13 my parents said I could go as long as they didn't have to pay my mom child support. I was so excited, even though my mom was extremely poor and it was a struggle for her to make it already with one child, let alone two now. I was so happy though, and then three weeks later I went back to visit my dad and they told me they missed me too much and I had to move back in with them. Not only did this break my heart, but also my mom had moved into a 3 bedroom apartment for us that was more expensive, and it just made her and my (real) brother's life worse.
School was a nightmare too. I was extremely shy, I had acne, I was skinny, and I was gay. I was bullied constantly, and it was just me going from one nightmare to another, day in and day out. I also didn't do well in school either, because my parents didn't care about school, so I never cared either. (That changed when I became a junior though, which I can talk about later) I just couldn't wait until I turned 18 so I could move out, and get my own place, and live my own life.
My dad was also a pastor of a church that we held in our house, and sometimes we would have the church in other random places that we would rent, but generally it was in our second garage. I hated church so much, and being forced to go to it twice on Sunday and sometimes Friday night was a living Hell for me. On top of that I was only allowed to listen to Christian music, with the exception of this one album from Eiffel 65 that I begged and begged to have, and one other CD with the song "kiss me" by Sixpence none the richer. I played those CDs over and over for years.
My ONLY saving grace that kept me alive today is the computer. I LOVED computers, and I was obsessed with them. I didn't care so much about games, but anytime I saw a computer I was glued to it for hours. The one thing I was grateful about us having a church was that we used the tithing money to purchase a "church computer" and I was literally on it 24/7 whenever I could be. I didn't even know what I was doing half of the time, but I loved every minute of it. It would be over the next decade that I would learn the ins and outs of the windows operating system, and my mind started even thinking like a computer. It was the only thing that made me happy and excited in life. I would eventually start re-installing Windows for fun, taking apart and rebuilding the computer, and anything electronic related. From that point on in my life, I automatically knew and understood how to fix almost anything electronic that crossed my path.
Things changed in my life the summer after my freshman year of high school. I believe I was 14. I had a dream, and I asked my mom what she thought it meant, and she said "let's look in my dream journal and see." I was so curious as to how there was something called a dream journal, and that night I spent the entire night until sunrise researching dreams, coming across astral projection, telekinesis, and lucid dreaming techniques. My mind was blown, and I found the next thing that took up all of my time for the next several years…learning everything I could about these subjects. My grades improved from C and Ds to As and Bs! Life was still horrible for me, but it was just a little more bearable to live with.
Fast forward to my 18th year of life, it's 2006 now. I moved to Florida to live with my mom, but she was always very emotional, and emotionally draining on my life with her constant worrying about me and her personal love life; but she was the most loving person I had in my life, and I wouldn't have traded her for anyone. But still it was very hard for me with how much I had to emotionally support her when I needed the support myself too. Now granted my lips have always given me a bit of trouble my entire life, I've always needed Chapstick, but not to a constant extent that it turned into. In 2007 I got a job as a server, and through a coworker met the "love of my life," which I won't get into too much detail; but it was horrible. I was in love with a straight guy, who used my feelings for him to get what he wanted, and I was constantly depressed, and my life was worse than it ever could be. I tried to stop loving him, but the more he pushed me away the harder I fought to hold onto him, and the more he got what he wanted. I looked for love elsewhere, but no one could compare and no one ever would be able to in my eyes. I would call his phone constantly for hours and hours a night sometimes when he wouldn't answer, and he would just let it ring and ring. It was the worst experience of my life up to this point. It was now 2007.
My lips started getting really bad here. It was 2008. I had to stop using Chapstick, because it would hurt my lips as the skin was building up so fast it would rip off the skin that was dying. My focus was constantly on my lips. I couldn't think about anything else. I had to get something that would keep them moist, but also not rub them very hard, so I got Aquaphor. It worked for about a year, but then that too gave me its problems. My lips were just building skin up too fast, and I was constantly rubbing it off. After talking for a minute or two I would have this white line on my lips, and it was so embarrassing. I was entering the next "worst part" of my life.
Over the course from 2008-2012 I lived like this. It was literally my living Hell. I couldn't enjoy life, I was in love with someone who didn't love me, and going out in public was extremely difficult for me. I had gotten into a car accident with my mom, and that was really difficult to deal with. I was looking online for ways to fix my condition, and I had went to numerous dermatologist only for them to tell me my lips looked fine and to just rub the skin off. They gave me a few creams, which mainly made it worse. There was this one steroid cream that seemed to actually help, and I have the name somewhere in my videos.
I was tired of living like this, and I wanted to enjoy my life. So I was DETERMINED to find a cure for myself. I looked everywhere online, and so far I never saw anyone actually cure themselves, and I also never saw anyone quit rubbing the skin off and just "leave them alone." I got a job at a call center, where I could work on the phones, subconsciously preparing myself for what I was about to do (without knowing that's what I was doing) and I went to working at my serving job one day a week. I became known as the person for creating the "leave it alone method." And that's probably how you know my name. If you watch most of the 75 videos I created while documenting my life with this condition, you'll see me with horrible looking lips. How I managed to ACTUALLY work at a call center, and continue to live my life to the best of my ability while looking like this? I don't know. But I do know that constantly using affirmations and positive thoughts, no matter how depressed I got, was the key to my success. I constantly thought to myself, I'm going to get through this. I'm going to get through this. I will cure myself. I will find a cure. I know I will.
Well the middle of 2012 comes around, I quit hanging around the guy I was in love with. But I found yet another straight guy to spend my time with. This time around though he was way nicer to me, and we got along wonderfully. He had a girlfriend though, and didn't really feel the same way about me, but still I could tell he actually did. No matter how much he didn't want to admit it. I finally started to feel happy inside my mind. He didn't even care about my lips! He was totally fine with hanging out in public with me looking like that, and that raised my spirits to a level I didn't know they could operate on while having that.
The next 8 months were hard. Really, really hard. Even though I was thinking positive, I was also depressed, because my lips weren't healed, and I actually didn't know for sure that they were ever going to heal, I just had to believe and hope they would. I think it's important to note here that you don't have to know if something will happen, just the fact that you are saying it is important. It was all I could do to cover my face at work when I walked in the halls. I didn't take the elevator. Ever. I always took the stairs to the top floor of our 6 story building. I barely went anywhere in public, but I kept hoping. And making videos every week to you guys. That was what gave me hope, the fact that you guys were there rooting me along the way. It was the inspiration I needed.
The end of the year approaches, and I'm just so tired of living like that with those crusts on my face. It looked horrible, and it didn't seem to be getting better. In fact, it seemed like it might have actually spread a little bit! So I gave up one night after a big crust fell off. I gently put Aquaphor all over my lips, without rubbing anything off. I woke up in the morning and another big piece fell off. So I went to the bathroom and gently took everything else off. My lips looked pretty red, but actually didn't look too bad! It was nice to look pretty normal for the day, but I was terrified I had just ruined the progress (if any) that I had made over the past 8 months. I got the steroid cream back out, and started using that a few times a day (you'll have to watch my videos for the routine that I did because I can't exactly remember it off the top of my head), and I combined it with Aquaphor and getting more sun exposure to my lips. I thought the sun might help a little bit, because my friend had psoriasis and we went to Arizona for a week, and after that week her psoriasis was cleared up from the sun. So I thought I might try it too.
Well another horrible thing happened. In January we visited California on vacation, and I fell in love with the place, so my brother and I started saving up our money so we could move, and a few months later my "friend" the new straight one stole everything from me. I was so upset, and my brother was so mad at me for keeping it around him, because he didn't ever trust him in the first place. And I'm always so trusting, only seeing the good in people. I cried and cried and didn't go to work for days. I didn't know how I was going to make it through THIS on top of everything I had already went through in my life. And my lips still weren't healed. Well I told myself to get it together, and I stayed positive, and I told myself I would make it through this.
And this is how I discovered the last piece of the puzzle to curing myself. But I didn't begin figure out what exactly it was until the last few months. And only this afternoon on February 10, 2020 while I was having lunch with a friend, did she put it into words for me that I understood how to express it to you guys.
The root cause of this condition is distraction. Distraction from your mind, your thoughts, your self. There is so much negativity going on in your life, as you can see the many combinations of mine that built up over the course of many years. But the root boiled down to not feeling loved. This kind of condition manifests itself it different ways for different people. Some people cut themselves, others starve themselves because they believe they are overweight, and the list can go on. But when you refuse to treat your body wrong, and you can't continue to handle the negative parts of your life, your mind forces you to focus on something else. For me, and many others, it was my lips. First they became chapped, and when I solved that issue with Chapstick, then they started to peel, and when I solved that problem with Aquaphor, they started to REALLY peel. Until the distraction my mind need from itself worked, and I constantly thought about my lips instead of the other things bothering me in my life. In a way it was a blessing, because I probably would have never quit being friends with the first guy.
In a short sentence, the cure is simply this: "Acknowledge any stress or anxiety in your life, and deal with every issue that is bothering you. Then shift your focus away from your lips, and will heal yourself. Heal your mind first, and your body will follow."
Once your mind is healed, your body will start to heal itself too, but now you have to also fix what has been damaged from the constant peeling, which in my case was a lot of damage from the past several years. Aquaphor, the steroid cream, sun exposure, exercise, eating right, and find the combination of any/all that works for you at this point and you will be on the right path to healing yourself completely. You also have to deal with, understand, and forgive whatever negative situation you are currently or have been in. If there is something in any capacity that is causing you great stress, then you must get yourself out of it in order to heal yourself. You have to positively affirm that you will be healed, be proactive about your future, and let the knowledge that because you know I healed myself from the same condition you have, that you can do it also. And that will be all the hope and light that you need to keep you going forward.
It took me many years to figure out the real cause for this condition, and I'm happy to be able to share my complete story, and help anyone suffering from this horrible condition. I'm happy to help build a community where we all can be together, and help each other through this and any situation in the future.
I know you can get through this, and I'm here for you every step of the way.
With love and support,
Your friend Daniel.
P.S. If you would like to go more in depth on the hardships in my life, and how I was able to overcome all of them, you might be interested in reading the book I just published. It's available for free to anyone who wishes to read it. My goal is to help anyone I can, with anything they may be going through. So many people have emailed me letting me know how much my book has helped them, so if getting positive is one of the fundamental things we can do to cure this, it may just help you! It's available at www.oneuniversebook.com and you can read it from any device you're on!